About going this far: I am just good at googling.

I start contemplating, about how I got this far.

I have no degree, nor I have any relations.

The third reason people might guess about was technical skill.

But I am currently wondering, is that so ? well actually what I feel is I am not really a good engineer.

What I am good about is only recognizing patterns of a problem, or a thing. I've used to tinker with things especially software.

Really, I think how I solve the problem everyday was just knowing what the problem and googling it. yes because I am good at recognizing patterns -> good at knowing the problem -> good at googling.

A friend of mine once said "How do you know the keyword to google ? I am googling it and I've found nothing!". well I just googling what I think the problem was.

I am doubting that I really have any good technical skills or capability.

I don't know how to solve a problem on the top of my head, I just know what the problem was. the rest is googling. really, I am not even have a good memory. I have a funny moment when I saved by myself: I found the solution of my problem was my own answer in a Github issue. I feel dumbass.

Is that a problem ? I don't know, I mean, I am not even coming from academic or formal background. If you ask me, sometime I feel like a fraud. you know, I even once work on a company where people think I am experienced. no, I am not proud. It only increase my burden.

Maybe if there was any other skill it was talking. I usually initiate a discussion. but it's just because I like to discuss, really. sometime people expect I know the topic, while In fact I know nothing.

So yeah, I was going this far and living a live because of my googling and talking skills.